Still Hiding the Truth (Through Page 165)

Amir knows exactly what it would take to clear his conscious and relieve himself of the immense guilt, but he still won’t own up to what he did not do to help Hassan. Still, it reminds me of Crime and Punishment, because the characters have to deal with the effects of deep internalized guilt. However, I almost hope that Amir won’t tell Baba what happened with Hassan before he dies because Baba does not deserve to be that unhappy and disappointed before the cancer takes his life. Amir does not even take initiative to try and reconnect Baba with Ali and things like that make me hate Amir’s character. Everyone has more strength than him and he knows it and recognizes it, but still won’t change it. Soraya was a bright light of happiness for Amir, with no bad memories attached, and someone he could connect with a clean slate. I think that after she confessed to him her secrets that she will now always serve a reminder that he will never have the courage to confess even when he has the perfect opportunity. 

I blamed a lot of Amir’s actions on Baba because everything Amir did was to please his father, yet his father never really loved his son for who is is. It seemed like Baba created exactly what he wanted to prevent.  Amir couldn't get a good sense of right and wrong when things he did bad sometimes made something good happen. But now that Amir is an adult, he really needs to grow up. 

Even though Baba sometimes made me upset for the lack of love and affection his showed his son, I realized its because he just shows his love in other ways. He does expect a lot from his son as most fathers do, and his gifts are something that Amir can take for a lifetime, like the opportunity to get an education. I was disappointed  when Amir asked “What about me?” after his father was diagnosed, because his father did and was doing everything he could so his son could be independent and successful. It’s similar to Amir’s initial reaction when he was frightened his father would get shot. He automatically thought about himself and what would become of him. Like I said before when I related it to The Stranger, there is some truth of that in everyone. I am glad that Baba will at least be happy to see his son marry. 

If Amir was my son, I am not sure if I would want to know the truth before I died or not.